The Legend of Count Dracuchilla originates
from Chin The Chewer, of Transchinvania.
Chin the Chewer lived in Cage Castle and gained notoriety
by chewing to destruction the entire local village, and stealing all their
winter stores of dried fruit. He gloated over his huge piles of stolen
goodies and if your peered through the windows of his castle on a moonlit
night you would often find him counting his raisins. This was how
he became known as The Count.
Once nearly caught by a gang of enraged locals, The Count
had been forced to fight for his freedom, and in so doing had tasted
his first human blood. He got a liking for it, and soon found it quite the best
drink to wash down an excess of raisins. Water simply wasn't good
enough anymore, and cranberry juice was a very poor imitation indeed. It
lacked iron and just didn't have the same viscocity.
The locals all left the village, in fear of having
their toes nibbled while they slept, and so The
Count made his way - under cover of darkness - to the coast and bounced
aboard a cargo ship bound for Whitby, in the county of Yorkshire, England. He hid in the storage
room by day, sleeping in a bath of dust
from his homeland, and at night he would chew into the fruit stores and sneak
into the sailors cabins to wash it all down with a drop or two of yummy sailor's toe blood.
Nibbling through their smelly socks was an extra treat, and if anyone
started to wake up, he'd bounce on their heads until they fell unconscious.
The constant toe nibbling had a terrible effect on the sailors, who all became timid, developed
a taste for fruit, and grew furrier by the day. Finally, to save themselves, they all
escaped using the lifeboats and left the ship without
crew to crash onto Whitby Beach.
The Count managed to drag his box of homeland dust into
the crypt of a local church, where he once again hid by day
and terrorised the locals at night.
All seemed lost. The people of Whitby began to suffer fruit
shortages and were all soon limping
around on badly chewed toes. An official order was decreed by the government to officially
close the town, but on the last day, a stranger arrived...
His name was Professor Leo Von Braun. An expert in taming
and catching wild vampiric rodents, he
tracked down the count by following his trails of droppings and monitoring the
town with LoneStar Chincams. Near the entrance of The Count's lair he
placed a wheel so inviting that The Count just couldn't resist leaping
in and running and running and running.
Rushing out from around the
corner came Von Braun, and placed a large galvanised mesh cage, complete
with integral hay rack, glass water bottle and kiln-dried pine sleeping box, over the wheel.
The Count had been caught, and the toe nibbling terror of
old was safe behind bars. At least for now....
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